Self Talk Are You A Bully?

I am sure everyone whom has read the title is saying no of course not. But do you bully yourself? If you talked to your friends or family or work colleagues they way you speak to yourself would they be happy? How often does that voice in your head say well done or I am proud? Negative self talk is things you say to yourself that are negative, demanding and overly critical. If you hear yourself saying things like “How could you do such a stupid thing?” or “Why can’t you ever get anything right?” you are engaging in negative self talk.

So are you a Self Bully?

The toughest opponent is often in our head. This can be the one thing that holds us back from achieving the things we really want to achieve. Negative Self Talk creates negative images in the mind. Positive Self Talk creates positive images.

Learn How To Say Shhhhhh to that Negative Self Talk

1. Listen to the Voice

Listen to your negative self talk and identity where it’s coming from. You might also want to try to identify whose voice it is. Is it yours, your parent’s, your spouse’s or your boss’?

2. Validate the Information

Is the negative self talk is valid? Sometimes we say things to ourselves that need to be said, just not in a very loving way. If this is the case thank your inner critic for pointing out the issues and then ask it if it will, in the future, speak to you in a loving manner, a way that you can better understand and accept.

Listen to that inner voice and wait for an answer. If needed, negotiate with it. Since, in this case your negative self talk is valid and is trying to help you, guide it toward better communications with you so your self talk can be useful in the future.

Tips to change the talk

Imagine there is a volume control like on a radio, and turn the volume right down
Change the voice (try a cartoon character or someone that makes you laugh)
Change the speed of the voice. Either make it super fast or really really slow
If you make a mistake say yes it is a great chance to learn
Say well done or I am proud to yourself